References: Should parents be friends with their kids? Bednar de and Fisher. Peer referencing in adolescent decision making as a function of perceived parenting style. Borawski ea, ievers-Landis ce, lovegreen ld, and Trapl. Parental monitoring, negotiated unsupervised time, and parental trust: the role of perceived parenting practices in adolescent health risk behaviors. J adolesc health 33(2 60-70.
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In a study of optional American 9th and 10th graders, researchers found teens were more likely to engage in sexual activity if they were unsupervised. But friendly parent-child relationships were important, too. Girls who perceived their parents as trusting were less likely to engage in sexual activity, tobacco, and marijuana use. Boys who perceived their parents as more trusting were less likely to use alcohol (Borawski et al 2003). Other, similar studies support these findings (Stattin 2001; devore and Ginsburg 2005). None of this evidence is conclusive. The studies i've cited books report correlations only. Moreover, these studies focus on kids living in Western societies. Possibly, cultural beliefs in other societies could make the "parent-as-friend" approach less successful. But for now, i think there is ample evidence to support those who take a friendly, "mind-minded authoritative approach to parenting.
I suppose it depends on your personal characteristics and cultural beliefs. And maybe some kids dont adapt well to the parent-as-authoritative-friend model. But studies on Western kids are generally supportive of the rational, friendly, authoritative approach to parenting. "Mind-minded parenting" appears to contribute to a childs development of empathy (read more about the research here). Inductive discipline (explaining the reasons for rules and the social, moral consequences of bad behavior) is linked with more self-control, less aggression, and more mature moral reasoning (Krevans and Gibb 1996; Kerr et al writings 2004; Choe 2013). Friendly, rational, responsive parents may have more moral influence over their teenagers. In one study, american college students were given hypothetical moral decisions and asked how they would tackle them. Students raised by authoritative parents were more likely than other kids to reference their parents -not their peers-in decision making about moral issues (Bednar and Fisher 2003). Close parent-child relationships built on trust and open communication may protect adolescents from dangerous behavior.
Both parties respect each other. They care about and trust each other. They can have meaningful conversations and enjoy each others database company in informal settings. But there are constraints. The dominant party has to keep some information to himself. And there are times when the dominant party must exercise his authority. Is it worth it?
But she might also see herself as a friend because she and her kids share a sense of mutual loyalty, trust, and respect. She treats her children as individuals with minds of their own. She talks with her kids about their thoughts, hopes, ideas, and feelings. She shares bits of her own mental life" with them-not the bits likely to distress kids, but bits that help kids see their parents as human beings (Example: Im disappointed. I wish we could go to disneyland, too, but we cant afford. This notion of friendship seems consistent with the literature on secure attachments, mind-minded parenting inductive discipline (explaining why its important to follow rules and authoritative parenting (parenting that is warm and responsive, but also associated with high standards). Is this really friendship? Its not a strictly egalitarian friendship. Its more like the sort of friendship that some adults manage to have with authority figures-like senior colleagues, supervisors, mentors, community leaders, or religious advisors.
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For example, a study of African-American adolescents asked kids to consider a series of hypothetical situations that audible involved disappointment and conflict. The kids who characterized their parents as more permissive were also more likely to say that they would respond violently to situations of conflict (Miller 2002) "Friendship" may also cause problems if it means treating a child as an adult therapist." In fact, it's not. In the study mentioned above, more detailed disclosures from moms were not linked with greater feelings of closeness in their daughters (Koerner et al 2002). But not all intimate confessions are of a distressing nature, and it's likely that some forms of sharing strengthen the parent-child relationship. In a recent study of 790 Dutch adolescents, researchers found that kids who reported sharing secrets with their parents had higher-quality relationships and lower rates of deliquency (Frijns et al 2013). Another study of Swedish teens found that the key to good behavior and family harmony wasn't heavy-handed parental surveillance. It was the child's perception that his parents trusted him (Stattin 2001).
So intimacy needn't imply that you are burdening your child with your personal troubles. And communicating trust needn't send the message that "anything goes." Parents can build close, personal relationships with their kids and still remain responsible adults. Not every friendship is based on sharing equal status. Friendships with authority figures: Warmth, trust, d limits Consider the parent who enforces limits and avoids worrying her kids with detailed accounts of her adult personal problems. She is first and foremost a mother to her kids.
In their book, the narcissism Epidemic, authors jean, twenge and. Keith Campbell note that parents contribute to the problem when they try to befriend their kids. Thats because parents who style themselves as buddies" may find it hard to enforce rules and standards. Other researchers point to the costs of treating children as confidants. Kids may get stressed out by negative personal confessions. For example, when researchers interviewed the adolescent daughters of divorce, they found that girls were more likely to experience psychological distress if their moms made detailed disclosures to them about their financial worries, employment hassles, personal problems, and negative feelings about their ex-husbands (Koerner.
So is friendship between parent and child a bad thing? Surely it depends on what you mean by friendship.". Notions of friendship: Should parents be friends with kids if it means "nobody is in charge"? To some people, friendship means nobody is in charge." Friendship is strictly egalitarian. Neither partner exercises authority over the other. If this is what you mean by friendship then the question seems to be about the effects of permissive (or even neglectful) parenting. Research suggests that kids do better when their parents show affection and enforce age-appropriate limits on their childrens behavior (see below). There is also evidence that permissive parenting interferes with the development of self-control.
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He is so especial for me, because he guides me in the good way without punishing me, he helps me with my problems, but he doesn't solve them because he understands that I want to solve my problems, and not that other people solve them;. I really think that my father is unique because there is no other father like him. He is the reason of my life, my love, and my happiness. As a conclusion, my parents have mistakes as all humans have, but they also know how to raise. That is why i think that God blessed me when he gave the kind of parents that I have, because they are unique, they guide me in a good way and make my life easier. Next essays Related to my parents, got a writing question? Some thoughts on the right and wrong ways to befriend children Gwen Dewar,. D., all rights reserved. Should parents be friends -or buddies-with fuller their kids?
That is health why i prefer not to tell her my secrets. I also can't tell her my problems because when something unfair happens to me, she always solves them. This really upsets me because i want to learn from my mistakes, but she doesn't let me do that because she always finds the solution of my problems. But, after all, she is my mother and I really love her. In the other hand, my father is the opposite of my mother. He is the person that I love the most. He is polite, good and comprehensive.
a child's success. Next essays Related to, parents and, friends, got a writing question? Ask our professional writer! I think that parents are couples who created a new life. They have to protect, guide, and give a good future to their children. I also think that parents create their children's personality and they also make their children to go in the right way by punishing or talking to them. I believe that parents should be their children's friends so that if there is a good trust between them; a good relationship will exist. In other words, i think that parents shouldn't just be the people who punish their children; they should also be their children's friends. Unfortunately, this is not what happens with most families. For example, my mother is not my real friend because every secret that I tell her; she immediately tells it to my whole family.
A child might not have a stable psychology. Parents appear to help him break out the sadness or disappointment because of receiving a bad mark in the class or just an unsatisfied feeling in relationship with friends. As best friends, parents are always the most reliable base for a child's success. Besides, parents also give the child the right advices for his studying purpose. They are experienced in life and they will orient the child to go on the right road. In many cases, parent discover the special capacity of their children and they create all the good conditions to let their children can develop his aptitude. In the world, there are a lot children become talents because of their parents " timely attention. I cannot imagine how father's children will grow if they live without parent's concerns.
Essay on my parents are my best friends
As everyone, i also have parents and friends. Therefore, i do understand how do they impact on a child's success. Many people think that classmates influence more than do parents on a child's success but myself, i consider that parents play the most important role in this field because of the following reasons. Parents are the best friends of a child on the way to reach success. They grow him up and always want to bring the most wonderful things for him. Parents are more than willing to sacrifice the whole life for their child's success. They share with him every moment of difficulties and always know the way to encourage him grow.